We Don't Provide Quality and everybody knows it - but our survey says

Today at work I'm going to spend my time doing "Quality Call Back". I think this has been in elsewhere for quite a while. I am actually quite excited, as you can imagine in trying to find 10 phone numbers of the public for me to ring. I'm then going to read from a prepared script to see if they were satisfied with the service they received from my officers. I think my Boss will be doing the same for punters I've dealt with.

I do hope a call is made to the repeat victim of burglary. Two burglaries in a week. I think I got round there 4 hours after the call was made. Well that's quality service in itself. The dispatchers had not put it out on the radio even though I was plodding the beat at the time. When I looked at the message later it was pinging around causing untold confusion as 3 flats had been broken into and everybody was trying to make a decision whether it should be tel crimed first and then for SOCO (Scenes of Crime) to attend. Eventually they decided that an officer should attend. This is rare in itself, most burglaries are tel crimed before SOCO attends and updates the report.

Oh for the time when police officers used to control the radio messages from the station. As a controller I would have seen this call as a priority and sent a unit as soon as possible. Nowadays the general consensus is, it's all abit of a mess, and that includes those now working in this new system. But I must be wrong - it's a success, more calls, more this, better that - that is the greater gods speaking of course.

Anyway the original informant had left by the time I'd got there and I dealt with the repeat victim flat downstairs. It was a slip and kick. Naughty blokes had slipped the front door with a plastic strip and had all the time in the world to kick down the internal flat doors. The flat I dealt with was pretty much cleaned out, lap tops, cameras, nice jewellery etc. The electrical stuff was still boxed having been renewed by the insurance.

It was rather embarrassing to find the SOCO already there dusting prints. All I could do was apologise for the awful service we'd provided. The victims were lovely and resigned to their fate. I think two burglaries in a week was taking liberties. They'd had PCSO's round after the last one offering crime prevention advice. They obviously didn't point out the ill fitting front door. There was a dead lock but the way the door was fitted left a gap so it could still be slipped. They said they'd never received my newsletter warning of increased burglaries in that area, and naming their road. No doubt only one got put through the door for three flats. Come on PCSO's 3 bells - gives you a clue. Mental Note to send e-mail later to PCSO's re multi-occupied properties and the need to ensure they all get a newsletter.

I later spoke to one of the other victims, who was away in Italy. I provided her with a reference number for the contents insurance she didn't have. Oh good that's a tick on quality call back. So three crime reports submitted.

I did a follow up and saw the front door had been replaced. This is a rich area and they were fortunate in being able to do so. So three letters of apology from me for the appalling service the police provided and some crime prevention stuff, property marking kit, pens and some rape alarms for the young ladies who rented the flat downstairs.

Now the point of this post is they received a crap service from the police who didn't turn up to a repeat victim of burglary. Yet for"Quality Call Back", hopefully me as an individual should tick the boxes, except for not having a name badge on. So the greater gods will say satisfied customers. I think they'd rather have me out patrolling their road today.

Today I shall compile team performance, as it's nearing the end of the month, and complete CBT (computer based training) on young people "coming to notice". From what I hear this is another fantastic dictate from the gods that will involve - more time inside.

I will not walk the streets today