Sunday, 20 December 2009

Le Bash

I'm very pleased to report I've survived the Team Christmas Do unscathed and will be a year closer to collecting my full pension. I was in two minds if I should go or not but in the interests of team bonding I made a fleeting appearance before making an early exit. It was rather like an excursion on holiday where you know the food is going to be shite and you'll be ripped off but you must enjoy yourself cos' it's Christmas. I wasn't disappointed, for nearly fifty quid the fare was rather a let down and at 4 quid for a small bottle of beer Stressed wasn't going to be embarrassing himself by rolling about in the gutter afterwards.

I was relieved that nobody managed to show themselves up, but have since heard that things didn't go too well on some of the other team's functions. The thing is with a police party, if anything happens the first people complaints come looking for are the supervisors. I'm not excusing poor conduct but why should I be held responsible for supervising grown adults on a private do when off duty? Wait a couple of weeks and there will be stories of police Christmas Do's going bent. I think we come second to professional footballers in the press attentions and maybe Harry Redknapp was smart in banning the Player's party at Tottenham.

I know people who have lost their jobs through antics over the festive period, and with a bit of careful planning trouble could be avoided. When I worked on a particularly infamous unit our Do's were planned to minimise antics. The party was always above a quiet pub in a private room not shared with other punters and contact with the public was limited . Anything happening out of order would only involve our own people and could be nipped in the bud early on.

The CID party also now appears to be a thing of the past on Division. The yearly free for all was frowned upon for the ensuing naughtiness and gossip. That's a shame because some of them were great. When I used to do some work for the squads I'd pick up a few invites and could really relax into it as a guest. One year I actually took a week off to attend Christmas Do's, and "The Squad" party had the best raffle ever.

Next year I think I'll be giving it a miss. I don't even like Christmas.


MarkUK said...

Pity my daughter's boyfriend couldn't take a leaf out of your book!

His Do was on Monday, the day before my daughter's MA graduation ceremony. He doesn't normally drink much and last year got so p*ssed that he was ill all the following day.

This year he outdid himself. He arrived home after the "999 do" (the meal cost £9.99 per head - mmmm, imagine the quality there!) at about 02.30. By 04.00, he'd comprehensively puked all over the bed and she was cleaning everything up. Just what she wanted before an important day.

Trouble is, he's still a "probie" and so feels that he has to go along with things to show "team spirit". As he only managed to spend £40 - half of that on a taxi - I get the impression that some of the team decided that he WOULD have plenty.

By next year he'll be out of his probation and I think he'll behave a little better. That's if my daughter doesn't off him in the meantime!

Blue Eyes said...

SoC - I agree that the supervisors should not have to take any responsibility for antics. Our work parties were notorious because for some people they were really the one time of the year when they let their hair down what with families and commutes and whatnot. There would always be some disaster which would need sorting out. Normally we could manage ourselves but one year a woman got so smashed that she couldn't remember her address for the taxi home or tell us which of the numbers in her phone was her husband's!! The poor old bosses had to get involved (having already gone home at this stage) and suffice to say have taken a much less "involved" approach at subsequent dos.

Mark that is awful!

Stressed Out Cop said...


Now that is some good planning only 9.99 on the food. Mine was same quality in a top hotel - He will learn and only damaged himself this time.(AND THE BED)- Tell him that's poor form BTW and I expect him to make the toilet at least! Damn Probies.

Blue Eyes - Ah the office party! a place of love and people acting out of character. Would have to be a really good Do to make the papers though.

Oh the stories I can't tell .. it brings a smile to my face for most .. but a couple .. well ...

MTG said...

It is time to depart Le Bash when what little dignity the clowns came with, is lost to the extra free round.

Blue Eyes said...

"Oh the stories I can't tell"

Ah go on!!!!!!!!

Stressed Out Cop said...

Melv - Oh so true

Blue - The secret Santa - 1/2 pound of liver and ensuing fracas involving someone who will achieve ACPO rank stays with me I'm afraid - never know when you might need it.

Crime Analyst said...



Please spare a thought this Christmas for the lads and lasses who will be doing their very best to ensure we all enjoy a safe and peaceful christmas – the police officers who will be working while we enjoy our rest over Christmas. Spare them a kind thought and send them your best wishes. We pray that your shifts pass peacefully and that you are able to enjoy some special festive times with your families and loved ones.

A special thank you goes out to the unsung heroes of police blogging this year and the years that have gone before. Having worked long, hard challenging shifts, dealing with the worst society can throw at them, they find the time and energy to write their articles, share their experiences, with a great passion for “What’s right” and delivered in the most part, with good humour.

Thank you to one and all, you know who you are, for all your fine efforts. We look forward to plenty more and perhaps some well deserved reforms for you in 2010.

With best wishes
Steve & The Team
Nice 1 Limited

Metcountymounty said...

Whats the worse thing that you can do on the same day as your team Christmas do when assigned as an exhibits officer to a big job and you want to get away on time? piss off every single member of the search team. They will make sure that at 0200 not only have you missed the do, you're still looking at a huge pile of exhibits yet to bag up and book in and they are still meticulously searching though the tasks to find you even more potential exhibits. He certainly won't be doing that again. Merry Christmas!!

Damo Mackerel said...

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everybody!

Blue Eyes said...

Merry Christmas Mr SoC!

Anonymous said...

Happy Christmas!

Crime Analyst said...

Merry Christmas SOC and family - have a good un!
Best Wishes - Steve & the gang at Thin Blue Line uk

Area Trace No Search said...

Merry Christmas SOC.

Enjoy your day, and damn you for stealing my idea of talking about job do's.

Next year...

Stressed Out Cop said...

Merry Xmas to all of you - just had a hellish day but survived

ASNT - Just heard the story from one of our do's, you really couldn't top it. I'm never going to one again.