Ticking The Box, For The Box

When I read about customer surveys being completed by prisoners who visit custody suites I thought it was just more bumf associated with being customer focused. I can't get excited about these satisfaction statistics, especially when one month we were shown as having 100% customer satisfaction at the front counter. This resulted from just two questionnaires being completed. That fact was not published in the nice coloured chart displayed to the waiting public.

I am however rather shocked to hear from a well connected source that we are actually considering putting televisions into our cells. This would be for the benefit of our guests who should have all comforts, as it must be bad to deprive them of their Jeremy Kyle fix. I imagine there is a police department somewhere agonising how to supply this human right to everybody, after all if you don't speak English shouldn't you have a channel in the language of your choice?

Perhaps we should go the whole hog and have a huge waiting room instead of cells, turning the custody suite into a copy of Kwikfit with self serve drink machines. Now I don't for one minute believe the police hierarchy are responsible for this, it must be coming from some government ministry, mustn't it?

Let's just hope that now the country is nearly bankrupt this extra expenditure is shelved, but don't bank on it.